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Thursday, April 22, 2010
You can find perfect balance all within the positive range of things
…….if you were to stay on a pitch of excitement it would wear you out,and so many of you vacillate back and forth from positive and negative because you don’t want to be worn out.
But we say you can vacillate in your range of positive energy from ecstasy to peacefulness, from exhilaration to joy, from out of your mind outrageous orgasmic enthusiasm for life, to subtle appreciation of life.
But you never have to fall onto the negative side of the equation in order to find that balance you see. You can find perfect balance all within the positive range of things.
The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship. Read them; contemplate on them; and use them. They are very powerful.
I'll Be There
If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase " I'll be there. " Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we're truly present for other people, important things happen to them & us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.
I Miss You
Perhaps more marriages could be saved & strengthened if couples simply & sincerely say to each other "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired & loved. Consider how ecstatic you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say "I miss you."
I Respect You / I Trust You
Respect and trust is another way of showing love. It conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds & become close friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships
Maybe You're Right
This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side to "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting maybe "I'm wrong". Let's face it. When you have a heated argument with someone, all you do is cement the other person's point of view. They, or you, will not change their stance and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you. Saying "maybe you're right" can open the door to further explore the subject, in which you may then have the opportunity to get your view across in a more rational manner.
Please Forgive Me
Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
I Thank You
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.
Count On Me
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating "you can count on me."
Let Me Help
The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.
Go For It
We are all unique individuals. Don't try to get your friends to conform to your ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how weird they seem to you. Everyone has dreams, dreams that are unique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams. Tell them to "go for it."
I Love You
Perhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Your spouse, your children, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words "I love you."
Special Merry Christmas and LOVING PEACEFUL VIBRATIONS to you and your loved ones.
I am somewhat infamous in my family for having responded to my parent's plea that I express gratitude to my favorite aunt and uncle for their gift one holiday morning with the line "Thank you for the yucky present."
While I like to think I've come a long way since then :-), I had the opportunity to take a closer look at my attitude towards gratitude today when I participated in an amazing workshop led by Dr. Robert Holden, creator of The Happiness Project and the author of some of my favorite books about happiness and success.
During the workshop, he mentioned an exercise from his 8 Week "Be Happy" Event called "The Hundred Gratitudes", which as you might imagine involves making a list of 100 things in your life that you are grateful for.
Thinking this would be a simple but uplifting exercise to do for myself, I began with some of the obvious ones - my family, my health, and my well-being. (In fairness, I wrote down each member of my family individually, leaving myself with only 93 to go!)
I then began to list some of the things I've learned over the years - the wonderful teachers I've met, coaches I've worked with, and skills I've learned and mastered. That took me to 22, so after putting in "God" at number 23 (and pondering whether or not that had any mystical significance), I moved on to some of the people in my life, past and present, that I am most grateful to know and have known.
Slots 31 - 35 were filled with tea, coffee and a few of my favorite foods; 36 - 39 were the sports I love to play and a couple I love to watch on TV. It was around 40 that I began to struggle.
My pets took up slots 41 - 44; by 45 I was listing a few of my favorite TV shows and wondering if I wouldn't have been better off amending the exercise to one called "The Fifty Gratitudes" or perhaps not having taken it on at all.
But after a bit of reflection, I began to list some of the experiences I have had that I am most grateful for. While the good ones took me up to number 63, I was able to get all the way to 81 when I opened up to listing experiences that had seemed unpleasant, uncomfortable, and even unhappy at the time but which had become the source of some of my most treasured insights and learnings.
I was feeling quieter now, and 82 - 90 were an easy if somewhat eclectic flow, encompassing sunshine, snow, a play I saw at the age of nineteen on Broadway, my first girlfriend, the view from my bedroom window, and a dance my father did on the way up a mountain the first time I brought Nina home to meet my parents.
At this point I was feeling like I could have gone on forever, which is perhaps the point of the exercise. But I decided I wanted to make the last ten gratitudes particularly meaningful.
As I reviewed the first 90 items on my list, I realized to my surprise that the one category I had completely bypassed was any gratitude towards myself.
For most of us, publicly acknowledging our strengths, achievements, and positive qualities is one of the most awkward and embarassing things we are ever asked to do. Fortunately or unfortunately, we are rarely if ever asked to do it.
One of my favorite stories in this regard was told of a football player from the midwestern United States who was known for his modesty and humility. When he was called as a witness in a local civil trial, the player took the stand. After taking the oath "to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me God", the player was asked a few preliminary questions...
"Are you a football player?"
"Yes sir, I am."
"Are you any good?" The player paused and looked uncomfortably around the room.
"I'm amazing, sir. Probably the best in the country."
Everyone in the room laughed.
After the trial, the local football coach told the player how surprised he was at his boastfulness.
"What could I do, coach?", the player replied sadly. "I was under oath!"
When I was ready, I filled in slots 91 - 99 with some of the accomplishments for which I am most grateful, from a stonewall built at the age of fourteen to a book written at the age of forty.
I saved the 100th slot for one of my favorite pieces of writing from the ever-brilliant Marianne Williamson:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we are poweful beyond measure. It's our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of the universe. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking, so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of the universe that is within us. It's not just in some of us: it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. And as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
TODAY'S EXPERIMENT: 1. Create your own list of 100 gratitudes. Allow yourself to take your time and spread the list throughout the day, or even the week. This is one exercise that will handsomely repay as much time as you are willing to spend.
2. Over the next few days or weeks, create other lists of 100 gratitudes - like 100 things you are grateful for about your partner, or your children, or your body, or the planet which we all share.
3. Consider sharing your list with someone in your life you care about.
Have fun, learn heaps, and thank you for creating the space into which I get to write these tips...
What COULD you be grateful in your life right NOW?
What have you seen or experienced that you feel truly lucky and grateful for?
Have you ever had a moment when you filled with pride? (even pride about a friend or family member)
Have you ever had cash to spend on what you WANTED and not what you needed?
Have you ever enjoyed a peaceful, pain-free sleep?
Have you ever enjoyed good health? (how does your body do that? - amazing!)
Have you ever had the use of your limbs, your eyesight? What about your sense of smell & taste - have they ever given you pleasure?
Have you ever noticed that gravity is so clever, we are balanced just ON the surface of the planet? imagine if we were a fraction heavier (or gravity a fraction stronger) and we were half-immersed into the earth?!
Have you ever noticed your heart beats without you consciously concentrating on it!
When did you last THANK your own body? your arms & legs for helping to get you up in the morning? or for magically healing itself through time?
When did you last notice the beauty of nature around you? Even the smartest high-technology couldn't produce one SINGLE blade of grass!!
You could choose to focus on all that you don't have, or you could choose to notice the miracles all around you.
Can you tell i'm feeling a tad grateful today? I hope you do too... it's a magical feeling.
*URGENT* Rising to a challenge - going way beyond manifesting
Well i've been online for around 15 years now and i have NEVER before sent out this kind of message... so all i ask is that you PLEASE take notice... and URGENT ACTION.
Obviously there are many fund-raising activities happening all around the world every day. However, this one came in a totally unique fashion and from a friend that i highly respect.
Jane Mciver is the ONLY Scottish Tony Robbins trainer. She attended his first-ever UK event many years ago and has travelled the world helping thousands of people in many ways ever since.
I have NEVER known Jane to ask for anything, and it doesn't surprise me that that she is now only asking for your help so that she in turn may help others.
If you like me, believe in the Tony Robbins principles of "growth" and "contribution", and also the Law of Attraction concepts of "what goes around, comes around" and the biblical attitude of tithing, then this message will appeal to you;
In this financial climate charities are having challenges. This is an urgent call for help for a really great charity that I will tell you all about tomorrow. I have been personally challenged to raise at least $1,000 cash for them by 8am Las Vegas time Wednesday morning ? yes in just a few hours So I really need your help.
This is a really big step for me - simply asking you to take me on trust and if you can, donate some money to a truly deserving cause I can't reveal until after you've donated. It certainly brings up all my stuff!
My wonderful friends the Sanfords have come to my rescue over the cash part by lending me the use of their account so that all funds that are donated at paypal.com (see instructions below) they'll meet me in the early hours of the morning and give me the cash for.
Are you intrigued yet?
What I can promise is that to everyone that donates I shall personally email my notes from this programme so you will understand what you have been a part of. It's all great stuff ? honestly! It's all about connectedness and oneness going way beyond manifesting.
From my heart I ask that you please give generously ? and quickly!!! Even if you don't get this in time all late donations will still go to the charity ? they just won't be counted in my challenge total.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this and please pass this to as many people as possible that are interested in personal growth and might be intrigued with this too or who just believe in the power of paying it forward.
Thank you so much
Love and blessings to you
A. Jane Maciver
Instructions for payments: 1) Go to paypal.com 2) Click on send payment 3) enter your email address and sherrysanford.com as the address to send to 4) Click on services/other 5) make the payment by entering your card account details [Paypal is one of the most secure ways to make payments on the internet]
A friend sent me a beautiful anonymous piece of writing that I think may just touch your heart ...
So whether you have a partner or not this Valentine's day I hope it reminds you that we are all surrounded by love, even in the darkest times ...
I hope you have 5 minutes to check it out!
WHAT I'VE LEARNED
I've learned - that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned - that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned - that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned - that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do but to the best you can do.
I've learned - that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.
I've learned - that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned - that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I've learned - that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned - that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.
I've learned - that you should always leave loved ones withloving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned - that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned - that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned - that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned - that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned - that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned - that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned - that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned - that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned - that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned - that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned - that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned - that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned - that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned - that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned _ that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I've learned - that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.
I've learned - that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned - that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned - that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned - that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned - that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
I've learned - that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned - that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned - that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned - that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned - that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned - that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned - that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
I've learned - that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
I've learned - that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned - that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned - that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned - that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I've learned - that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
I've learned - that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned - that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned -
that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.
I've learned - that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
This has been attributed to many different people but as far as I know the Author is Unknown to me.
Join the Global Peace Meditation on 08.08.08 (that's just two days away)
Just imagine if for one minute, the whole world stopped and just projected love and peace, just imagine the loving energy that would flow around the world and how many people would be healed, by just feeling they were loved.
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"Never underestimate the influence of your words and actions" - dynamicmike
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As we know most people that are ill, just want "love". A deficit of love in an individual's life, is probably the biggest cause of illness and disease.
Here is a wee reminder how important it is to Love and FORGIVE.
Join the Global Peace Meditation on 08.08.08 (that's just two days away)
Meditations while flying a kite by Nadine Starr – 86 years old
If I have to do my life over, I’d make more mistakes next time.
I would relax. I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I know very few things that I would take seriously. I would laugh more & cry less. I would be crazier. I would worry less about what others thought of me & I would accept myself as I am. I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers & watch more sunsets. I would watch less T.V. & have more picnics. I would have only actual troubles & very few imaginary ones. I would feel only sad not depressed. I would be concerned not anxious. I would be annoyed, not angry. I would regret my mistakes not feel guilty about them. I would tell people that I like them. I would touch my friends. I would forgive others for being human & I would hold no grudges. I would play with more children & listen to more old people. I would go after what I wanted without believing I needed it & I wouldn’t place such a great value on money.
You see,
I am one of these people who live life cautiously & sensibly & sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh! I’ve had my moments, & if I had it to do over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I have been one of these people who never go anywhere with a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat & a parachute.
If I have it to do over again, I’d go places & do things & travel lighter than I have.
I would plant seeds & make the world more beautiful.
I would express my feelings of life without fear. If I had to do it over, I would start barefoot earlier in the Spring & stay that way later into Autumn. I would play hooky more. I wouldn’t make such good grades except by accident.
